confidence coaching vernon james

On Monday evening I was asked by someone, ‘Have you always been a confident person?’   I’m not sure I’ve been asked that question before but my answer turned into a series of reflections on my past.  It went something like this:

‘When I was 17 at sixth form college, before we broke for the Christmas holidays, the whole year was gathered in the school hall for a bit of karaoke.  Even though I can’t sing (let me rephrase that, even though my voice would not be categorised by many as a good voice) I felt the urge to sing Mariah Carey’s Hero.   It wasn’t great by any stretch of the imagination but it wasn’t a complete disaster.  Did I have confidence?  Not sure, maybe just a bit of madness.

When I was 13 I answered an ad in a local paper and joined a football team.  I wasn’t very good but I was fast and enthusiastic.  It was all mostly lads from an Irish background and most of them went to the same school so I was a bit of an outsider.  You couldn’t get a word out of me.  I never spoke.  Completely silent.   I was different once I was around my school pals but I had formed this identity where I didn’t talk around these football guys and it just stuck.  Did I lack confidence?   Not sure.

When I was 19, in my first year of university I started to explore the art of rap and performance poetry.  Within a couple of years I would perform in front of large audiences.  Did I have confidence?  Yes, maybe.  I think there was a desire to share my ability and talent with others and that counteracted any fears or doubts or butterflies I might have had.   

Today, I’m a grown man.  Matured. I know myself well.  I have a mission and a purpose.  I deliberately bring gratitude into my life.  I get a deep, warm feeling when I think about the path I am on and the potential for my future.  Yes I am confident.’


I think at this stage he probably wished he hadn’t asked me!

I am full of confidence, a deep inner confidence.  I am confident that anyone who doesn’t yet experience the joy of inner confidence can create that.   Reflecting back on some of those different times in my life I can’t define if I was confident or not.  Of course there were other times I can think of where I can clearly say whether I was confident or not.  I believe that regardless of the situation, confidence was always there, it was just whether or not I was in tune with it.   It’s the same with fear,  it will always exist on some level.  It’s just whether we give fear our attention and become a victim to it or move on despite it.

Confidence is already part of you.  It always has been.  You just have to tap into it.  I’d love to help you do that.

If we are to be creators and bring our art, our passion, our light into the world we need to build a foundation of confidence.  Confidence comes from having a solid relationship with yourself, it requires cultivating self awareness.  Self awareness happens once we slow our senses down and begin to look inward.  We have the choice to pay attention to all that is good in ourselves and in the world.  When we look for the good, that’s where we find that confidence is ready and waiting.  It is waiting for us to live a life of ambition and love that we all deserve.